What are five unhealthy sexual behaviors?

A healthy sex life is grounded in consent, respect, and emotional well‑being. When you ask yourself “what are five unhealthy sexual behaviors,” you are really asking where the line is between healthy exploration and patterns that put you or others at risk.

Below, you will learn about five key unhealthy sexual behaviors, what they can look like in real life, and where to turn for help. This is for information only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.

1. Non‑consensual or pressuring behavior

Any sexual activity without clear, enthusiastic consent is unhealthy. This includes situations where someone feels pressured, coerced, or unable to say no.

Consent means both people freely agree, understand what is happening, and can change their mind at any time. When that is missing, behavior crosses into harmful or abusive territory.

How this can show up

Non‑consensual or pressuring behavior can include:

Continuing sexual activity after someone says no, freezes, or pulls away
Repeatedly asking or bargaining for sex until the other person gives in just to make it stop
Touching someone sexually when they are asleep, intoxicated, or otherwise unable to consent
Sharing intimate photos or videos without clear permission

In children and teens, problematic sexual behavior often involves non‑consensual acts, a strong preoccupation with sex, or aggressive sexual actions toward others, and these situations usually require specialist support and coordinated intervention (Safe Kids Thrive).

If you notice any of these patterns in yourself or a partner, it is important to reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual health or trauma.

2. Sexual behavior that causes harm to others

Sex becomes unhealthy when it hurts people physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Sometimes this harm is intentional, but it can also happen when someone acts impulsively without thinking through the impact.

According to experts, even when children or youth act on passing impulses without a conscious wish to harm, their sexual behavior can still cause harm to other children, and in those cases early intervention is essential (Safe Kids Thrive).

Signs the behavior is harmful

You might be in a harmful pattern if you:

Use sex to control, punish, or manipulate someone
Ignore your partner’s boundaries because you “need” sex
Continue a behavior after your partner has said it hurts them
Involve people who are significantly younger, older, or in your care in ways that violate trust or power dynamics

In schools and youth settings, unhealthy sexual behavior often looks like repeated harassment, non‑consensual touching, or aggressive sexual actions, all of which are a serious concern that calls for professional evaluation (Safe Kids Thrive).

If you recognize yourself on the harming side of this equation, reaching out for help is a positive and responsible step. Change is possible when you work with trained professionals.

3. High‑risk or unsafe sex

High‑risk sexual behavior means you repeatedly put your health or safety at risk. This can affect your physical health, your mental health, and your relationships.

A common example is unprotected sex with partners whose STI or pregnancy status you do not know. In one study of 285 sexually active adolescents in Spain, about one in three did not use condoms during intercourse, highlighting unprotected sex as a significant unhealthy behavior among teens (PMC).

What high‑risk behavior can include

High‑risk or unsafe sexual behaviors can look like:

Having sex without condoms or other barrier methods when there is any risk of sexually transmitted infection
Relying on “pulling out” instead of effective contraception when you want to avoid pregnancy
Having multiple partners without testing or honest conversations about risk
Having sex while heavily intoxicated, which makes consent and safety harder to manage

The same Spanish study found that not using condoms was more common among adolescents who experienced partner violence, and among those with higher levels of depression, anxiety, and stress (PMC). Low self‑esteem and behavioral problems like being expelled from school also increased the odds of having unprotected sex (PMC).

That pattern suggests an important point. If you struggle with mental health, self‑worth, or partner abuse, you may also find it harder to protect yourself sexually. Getting support for those underlying issues often makes safer sexual choices feel more possible.

4. Sex used as a coping strategy

Many people notice that they turn to sex to change how they feel. You might reach for sex, sexting, or porn when you feel lonely, anxious, bored, or numb. Using sex for comfort occasionally is common, but it can become unhealthy when it is your main or only way to manage difficult emotions.

Survivors of sexual trauma sometimes describe “extreme coping strategies” that include high‑risk sexual behavior or using sex to escape, even when it does not feel good afterward (VAWnet).

When coping crosses into unhealthy territory

You may be in an unhealthy pattern if you:

Feel unable to cope with stress or sadness without sex or sexual release
Have sex even when you do not want to, simply to avoid emotional discomfort
Feel ashamed or empty after sexual encounters, but repeat the pattern anyway
Notice that sex is creating new problems in your life instead of helping you feel better overall

Trauma, depression, post‑traumatic stress, and other forms of psychological distress can all increase the chances of unhealthy sexual behavior by affecting mood, judgment, and self‑worth (VAWnet). If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone, and it is not a personal failure. A therapist trained in trauma or sexual health can help you build new, healthier coping tools.

5. Patterns rooted in unresolved trauma

Your past experiences shape how you relate to sex today. If you have lived through sexual violence or abuse, it can affect your sexual behavior in complex ways. Some people become very withdrawn sexually, others become more risky, and many move between the two.

Research shows that survivors of childhood sexual trauma are more likely to engage in high‑risk sexual behaviors, such as unprotected sex or multiple partners, as part of the long‑term psychological impact of trauma (VAWnet).

How trauma can affect your sexual life

Unresolved trauma can show up in different, sometimes opposite, ways:

Very low sexual interest, difficulty feeling desire, or feeling shut down during sex
Relationship difficulties or fear of intimacy linked to earlier experiences of harm (VAWnet)
Risky or impulsive sexual behavior that does not match what you really want for yourself
Sexual dysfunction, such as pain, difficulty reaching orgasm, or loss of arousal after adult sexual trauma (VAWnet)

None of these reactions mean there is something “wrong” with you. They are understandable responses to experiences that were not your fault.

If you suspect trauma is affecting your sexual behavior, consider seeking trauma‑informed support. That might include a licensed therapist, a sexual health counselor, or a support group for survivors.

If you have ever experienced sexual violence or coercion, your reactions are valid. Getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

What about unhealthy sexual behavior in children and teens?

If you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, you may worry about what you are seeing in a child or adolescent. It is important to distinguish between normal curiosity and concerning behavior.

Experts note that sexual behaviors in children and adolescents become unhealthy when they are frequent or intense, show a clear preoccupation with sexual acts, or involve others in ways that are not consensual or appropriate for their age (Safe Kids Thrive). Sometimes these behaviors signal that a child has witnessed violence at home or been exposed to explicit material they cannot yet understand (Safe Kids Thrive).

In Massachusetts, for example, sexual behaviors by children under 12 have been decriminalized since 2018 so that families feel safer seeking help, and so the focus is on identifying problems early and providing effective treatment instead of punishment (Safe Kids Thrive).

If you are concerned about a young person, reach out to a pediatrician, school counselor, or child therapist with experience in problematic sexual behaviors. Early, compassionate support can make a big difference.

How to move toward healthier sexual behavior

Understanding what counts as unhealthy is only the first step. You can also take small, concrete actions to move toward a healthier and more satisfying sex life.

Here are a few starting points:

Reflect on your patterns
Notice when and why you tend to seek sex. Ask yourself whether your choices line up with your values and long‑term goals.
Prioritize consent and communication
Practice naming your boundaries and asking partners about theirs. Agree on safer sex practices like condom use before things become physical.
Support your mental health
Since depression, anxiety, stress, and low self‑esteem can all contribute to riskier behaviors (PMC), investing in your mental health is part of sexual wellness. Therapy, support groups, and self‑care habits can help.
Get professional help when needed
If you feel stuck in patterns that scare or confuse you, or if you have hurt others, talk with a licensed professional who specializes in sexual behavior or trauma. Change is possible with the right support.
Give yourself compassion
Shame often keeps people from reaching out. Remind yourself that you are allowed to learn, grow, and build a healthier relationship with sex at any stage of life.

By learning what unhealthy sexual behaviors look like and how they can develop, you give yourself the power to choose something different. With good information, supportive care, and honest reflection, you can move toward sexual choices that feel safer, more respectful, and more aligned with the life you want.